So the Game of Thrones finale happened.
Tears were shed, screams were screamed and glasses were shattered in the general vicinity.
But. It’s not the end of the world. Really. There are a million things out there that can cheer you up. Because as Dumbledore said: Happiness can be found in the darkest of times, if only one remembers to turn on the light.
Here are all the things that are much better and happier than the GOT finale.
1) Worldwide cancellation of KitKat Chunky production.
Seriously, we don’t need KitKat Chunkies in the world. KitKat Chunkies do NOT make anyone happy. Nobody can live on KitKat Chunkies for life. Peanut Butter Chunky? Yuck. Cancelling them would be the best.
2) Dolphin overlords.
Evil dolphins ruling us all. What a glorious world to live in.
3) Kitten extinction.
Who likes kittens? Worldwide extinction of kittens is the dream. They’re not adorable and it is definitely not funny to watch kitten videos on Youtube.
4) If Hozier decides to cut his hair.
Clearly I have no love for Hozier’s hair. He should just cut it all off. Crew cuts are the next big thing.
5) J.K. Rowling retiring.
We don’t need the hope for another Harry Potter. And we definitely do NOT need to read another Cormoran Strike novel. Actually, it’s about time she retired.
6) Cancelling Night Shift. Who likes Night Shift? No one that’s who. If Night Shift got cancelled I wouldn’t cry. I would definitely not fall into a deep pit of despair and sadness at not seeing Eoin Macken on screen again. Who cares!
7) Riding on a crowded metro.
People crammed in a steel tube. Crying children. Getting elbowed by old aunties. That’s the dream. Riding in a crowded metro is life affirming and totally awesome.
8) Shahrukh Khan doing another movie with Katrina Kaif.
Their chemistry is INCREDIBLE. They weren’t absolutely awkward with each other. Why wouldn’t another movie with Shahrukh Khan and Kristen Stewart (sorry, Katrina Kaif) be amazing?
9) Re-watching The Fault in Our Stars’ or Highway’s ending over and over again.
So what? You’ll just bawl like a baby for the rest of the day and feel as if you’re surrounded by dementors. Big deal.
By Salva Mubarak