Now a lot of reviews and people warned me against watching Mohenjo Daro, and so despite the presence of Hrithik Roshan, AKA one of the stars of all my fantasies, I was a little skeptic to finally watch the movie. But I did. And I have no regrets.

Do I think the movie was the best thing that has ever happened to me? No.

Do I think that the movie was worth a single watch? Yeah, if you’re really into Hrithik Roshan, and are not particularly finicky about glaring historical inaccuracies.

The movie wasn’t that bad. Or maybe I was expecting something much worse after the reviews I had seen, that I was pleasantly surprised by it.

Whatever the reason might be, I saw the movie and did not suffer any lasting mental trauma, so that’s good. But I did learn quiet a few important life lessons from it.

ALSO READ: 11 Important Life Lessons I Learnt from ‘Hate Story 3’

But first, here’s a quick plot summary:

*SPOILERS*

So the movie is set in 2016 B.C, where Sarman (Hrithik Roshan) is a hot farmer who likes to wrestle innocent crocodiles in his free time. Now Sarman often got dreams in which a sparkling goat/cow/unicorn hybrid beckoned him towards something, which he takes to meaning that he is supposed to go to Mohenjo Daro or something to that effect. He goes to Mohenjo Daro and creates a lot of trouble, enough to get him noticed by the bad guy, who is hilariously played by Kabir Bedi in gigantic ox horns, who is a cruel dictator and murderer. Sarman also falls in love with Chani (Pooja Hegde) who is the fiancée of Munja (that’s his name, for real) the son of Kabir Bedi. Lots of stuff happens, and I mean a LOT, including a gladiator fight with two giants, and then we find out that Sarman is actually the son of the slain ex Mohenjo Daro chief, who had been executed by Kabir Be after being falsely accused of treason. Again lots of stuff happens, seriously the movie seems never ending at a point, and then the town decides to rebel against Kabir Bedi and elect Sarman as their lord and saviour when the dam Kabir Bedi had built to aid his shady dealings with 2016 B.C. mafia, starts breaking down which threatens to flood the city. Predictably, Sarman saves the day and gets the girl. THE END.

I have skipped over a lot of points but this is basically everything you need to know about Mohenjodaro.

Life lessons from Mohenjo Daro

1) No good can come out of Hrithik Roshan being near water. He drowned in Kaho Na Pyaar Hai, he meets Katrina Kaif in Zindagi Na Milegi Dobara while learning how to dive, and in this one he kills an innocent crocodile (OK, maybe the croc was terrorising the villagers, but that’s what it was supposed to do!)

2) If you put some paint around your eyes then you become practically unrecognisable to people who know you.

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3) Same goes for removing a huge headdress, that may or may not require its own passport while flying.

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4) If a girl looks at you angrily, to shut you up, while her fiancée (who is known to be evil and cruel) is about to catch you and possibly execute you, it obviously means that the girl wants you to kiss her. You can later blame her ‘naughty’ eyes for your jackassery and all will be fine. Because you look like Hrithik Roshan.

5) If you look like Hrithik Roshan, you will automatically know quiet a few important life skills, including fighting two cannibalistic giants, rescuing an entire city from a flood, wrangling horses, perfectly dancing to a pre-choreographed ritualistic dance and getting the girl in the end.

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6) Arunoday Singh is bae. Seriously. His was the most misunderstood character in the entire movie. First, a random bronzed stranger comes and steal his girl and then when he rightfully tries to fight for her, he is branded an evil SOB. Then his father organised a gladiator-esque match between the bronzed fiancée stealer (BFS) and his two pet giants, who then get killed by the BFS. And when he tries to protect her from his father’s cruel plans, he is labelled as a weakling by him. Poor guy can’t catch a break.

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7) You might think that you can carry off an ox-horn headdress and look fierce, but you might end up looking like a fool. And then get left to be drowned by Hrithik Roshan when your city starts flooding. OK, maybe the second part is not applicable every time.

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8) You cannot be a hero or the main guy in any story unless you have a sidekick who is one of the following:

a) Fat

b) Comically stupid

c) Sexually frustrated

d) Oddly devoted

e) All of the above

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I don’t know what the girl equivalent for Hojo is. Sorry.

9) Believe in your dreams. Sarman followed the weird unicorn-goat hybrid to Mohenjo Daro where he learned that he was supposed to be their next overlord, similarly if you dream of Shah Rukh Khan, then you should definitely leave everything and try to find him because it is your destiny that he will fall in love with you. What? Delusional? Me? What’re you talking about?

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