9 Life Lessons I Learnt from ‘Wajah Tum Ho’

I don’t think there are any bad movies. I feel like every movie has its own audience. At least that’s what I kept telling myself as I sat through Sana Khan and Gurmeet Chowdhary ‘have sex’ (more on that later) in Wajah Tum Ho.

Nobody forced me to go see the movie. And I have no regrets. I mean I would willingly put acid in my eyes to burn the image of the whole movie out of my consciousness, but I happen to like seeing things and so I would have to live with my demons.

In case you’ve seen the trailer of the movie, then you may have a tiny bit of an idea of what I went through.

In case you haven’t, then here you go:

Before we embark on the life lessons (and there are many, trust me), here’s what happens in the movie. There are multiple spoilers ahead because I am pretty sure I love you and I don’t want you to go through what I went through. At least not visually. So here it is:

The movie starts off with the sounds of two people having sex in a seedy-ish motel. At this I knew I was in for a traumatising ride because motel sex has never led to non-traumatising times (I am not speaking from experience, mom).

Turns out a corrupt police officer (and it is established he is corrupt very firmly. This movie does not get points for subtlety) is forcing a girl to have sex with him because he supposedly caught her and her boyfriend having sexy time in a parking lot.

I swear I will not give in to my tendency to ramble on and will try to wrap this up quick. As you saw in the trailer, there is a master mind evil hacker, who is sort of a vigilante. He/she abducts the corrupt cop when he was driving down a creepy road while blackmailing someone. The mastermind hacker (let’s call him/her MH, yeah?) then broadcasts the cop’s execution live on television via a news channel owned by ‘Global Time Network’.

Now the cop on the case is Sharman Joshi, who likes to spell out everything is doing and thinking slowly and dramatically to his devoted sidekick, Inspector Gaitonde.

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Their immediate suspect is GTN’s CEO, Rahul Oberoi (question: are you even rich if your name is not Oberoi/Singhania/Malhotra?) played hammily by Rajneesh Duggal. Now I added hammily here, but just know that everyone in this movie was given the same memo: ham as if your life depends on it. And they delivered.

After some painfully long interrogation scenes, where Sharman Joshi lets loose some unintentionally hilarious dialogues and threats to Rajneesh Duggal, who I was very disturbed to find out that I kind of find attractive. No judgements, please.

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Rajneesh Duggal’s legal head is Sana Khan AKA Sia, who declares this after every ten seconds. I am not kidding. Sia is a strong, empowered woman and when she is not busy asserting that by screaming her credentials at anyone who’d listen, she is busy rejecting Rajneesh Duggal’s hilarious advances.

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No, seriously.One second he is ranting about how he is going to destroy Sharman Joshi for having the audacity of summoning him to the police station and the very next second he is creepily feeling up Sia and asking her to sleep with him.

Now just when you thought that you couldn’t take anymore, we’re introduced to another jackass: Gurmeet Chaudhary AKA Ranveer. If all the Ranveers of the world don’t collectively sue the makers of this movie for ruining the name Ranveer forever then what are you even doing?

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He is Sia’s boyfriend and he creepily surprises her by sneaking in flowers and some kind of lights into her house when she was busy rejecting Rajneesh the sleaze. They talk to each other in badly written poetic verses and then proceed to have sex to a song titled ‘Wajah Tum Ho’. The sex was a series of heaving bosoms, both Sia and Ranveer’s and a lot of face eating that they were trying to pass off as kissing.

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No sex scene in the movie is set without a song that has been abruptly inserted into the narrative. It’s like they could predict the audiences weaning interest in watching Sharman Joshi and Gaitonde’s sexual back and forth (their non existent sexual chemistry was more evident than any of the couples having sex).

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Now Ranveer is also a lawyer, who is on the case against Rajneesh Duggal. We find this out when Sia arranges a meeting between the police department and GTN’s team, including their tech expert, to explain that their satellite was actually hacked by someone and Rajneesh was actually innocent. We are then subjected to almost 20-minutes of explanation on how television broadcasting works and how a person with high speed internet and a phone can easily hack anything.

I am going to stop right here because the movie then goes on to spiral into a series of stupid twists and keeps introducing new people and I don’t want to relive that. I’ll skip forward.

The MH kills another person on live TV, a man called Karan (who was also having bad sex with a girl who needs to make better life choices while he got abducted). Karan was also Rajneesh’s business partner once upon a time. Then we find out that Rajneesh Duggal and Karan had raped an employ of GTN and killed off the only witness to the case. The cop who was murdered in the beginning helped in burying the case.

Incidentally, this was also Ranveer’s first case as a lawyer, that he lost as Rajneesh and Karan went scot free. Then we find out that the girl who was raped was actually the one behind the murders and a lot of twists and turns later we find out that the whole mastermind behind the plan was Sia who was the daughter of the witness who was murdered.

She then finds out from Rajneesh, just as she is about to kill him, that her boyfriend Ranveer was the brains behind their (the bad guys) whole game. She kills him and then calls Ranveer over and asks him to confess. Ranveer then reveals how he sabotaged the rape case to et a penthouse apartment from Rajneesh Duggal.

Then the most ridiculous fight in the history of movie fights happen and then Sharman Joshi shows up and then he joins the fight. In the end, Sia kills Ranveer and Sharman Joshi doesn’t turn her in for all the live murders. He decides he is going to let her go free as she was just being a good daughter. He also quits from the force and plans to start a security firm.

At this point I should probably also mention that Sharman Joshi also has a daughter (who probably made his dad heart pardon Sia of all her vengeance fuelled crimes). The daughter is the single most annoying kid I’ve ever come across and I’ve come across a fair share of them.

There is also an item number (unnecessary, of course) with Zarine Khan. She tries to be sexy throughout the song but she ends up looking super uncomfortable and that’s about as sexy as watching me try to fish out Pringle debris from my bra and eat them. Not sexy at all.

Before we head onto the life lessons, I must also mention the presence of Sherlyn Chopra. She is the single most relatable character in the movie. When I say character, I mean an objectified individual who is only there to squirm over Rajneesh Duggal in lingerie and pretend to have orgasms while eating his face.

Why she is relatable, you ask? When Sia confronts Rajneesh Duggal on the rape accusations (this was before the whole Sia being the mastermind reveal), he was about to have sex with Sherlyn Chopra. While walking out, after giving Rajneesh her resignation, Sia asks Sherlyn, “Why do you want to sleep with a rapist?” to which Sherlyn replies, “Do you pay my bills?”

Sherlyn Chopra doesn’t judge. Sherlyn Chopra just needs her sexy time. She has no time for preachy people.

Now to the life lessons.

Life lessons I Learnt from ‘Wajah Tum Ho’

1) You are not a true lawyer unless you and at least three other people declare that to the world. Now I don’t know what’s the proper protocol with other occupations but lawyers, take note.

2) Can you even have sexy time without soft focus and a remixed classic song? The answer is a resounding ‘NO’.

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3) It’s never a good sign when you want to murder a kid ( in a movie, relax) just for opening his/her mouth. Sharman Joshi’s movie daughter is the single most annoying movie kid of all the movie kids who have ever existed. I have already said this but I can’t assert this enough.

4) If you catch your father’s murder on CCTV cameras, via an app on your phone, then the most logical thing to do is to scream “STOP IT” repeatedly to no one in particular. Don’t call the neighbours or the police. Because what’s the point?

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5) Speaking of murders on CCTV cameras, install some in your house. You never know when you might need to live stream the murder of one of your family member and then avenge them while having gross sex with people. You know, it’s always good to be prepared.

6) You may think you have a decent taste in men but you will have a few unexplained crushes like the one I have on Rajneesh Duggal. And that’s OK. Definitely not a cause to seek therapy. Or reevaluate your entire life.

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7) Guys like it when you try to swallow their entire face while trying to kiss them. No lies.

8) Nothing good can come of a movie that stars Sharman Joshi sans Aamir Khan.

9) When you have a choice to watch ‘La La Land‘ or ‘Wajah Tum Ho‘, ask yourself which movie does not star Sharman Joshi, and then go for that one.

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You can thank me later for this.

QUIZ: Which Shah Rukh Khan is Your Soulmate?

The most important question of all time: Which Shah Rukh Khan is your one true soulmate? Generally the answer to that question would be ALL of them, but it is time to find out whether it’s Aman from Kal Ho Na Ho? Or Kabir Khan from Chak De India?!

Click here to start the quiz right now!

15 Incredibly Romantic Movie Quotes, Feat. Bob Morley

A collection of some of my favourite quotes from some of my favourite romantic movies, with an occasional appearance of human being extraordinaire, Bob Morley ❤ (because why not?!)

*I do NOT own the pictures, just the edits*

This is not a ranking, the quotes are listed in no particular order.

1) “I wanted it to be you, I wanted it to be you so badly.” You’ve Got Mail

2) “You’re the first boy I ever kissed, Jake, and I want you to be the last.” Sweet Home Alabama

3) “As you wish.” The Princess Bride

 

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5) “Can’t you see? Every step I have taken, since I was that little girl on the bridge, was to bring me closer to you.” Memoirs of a Geisha

6) “In my opinion the best thing you can do is find a person who loves you for exactly what you are. Good mood, bad mood, ugly, pretty, handsome, what have you, the right person will still think the sun shines out of your ass. That’s the kind of person that’s worth sticking with.” Juno

7) “Always.” Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows (Part 2)

 

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9) “Love means never having to say you’re sorry.” Love Story

10) “You had me at Hello” Jerry Maguire

11) “I vow to fiercely love you in all your forms, now and forever. I promise to never forget that this is a once in a lifetime love.” The Vow

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13) “It would be a privilege to have my heart broken by you.” The Fault in Our Stars

14) “I wish I had done everything on earth with you” The Great Gatsby

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OPEN LETTER: Enough With the Hate and Ignorance.

For every step we take towards evolving to be our better selves as humans, we take ten steps back whenever tragedies such as the recent Orlando shooting happen. The whole humanity digresses back to being a backward version of ourselves.

We might tweet and Instagram support with rainbow colours and I am not insinuating that it is in anyway trivial or wrong, but it is definitely misdirected. What happened in Orlando is a glaring display of us failing to do what is basically our only job. To be humans. To be more evolved than animals. To learn from our past and not repeat the same mistakes again.

This is not a one off incident. Crimes against the LGBT community across the world are not unheard of. Mass shooting by deranged individuals is also not a new occurrence. Are we not to blame as human beings that we continue to exist in a false sense of comfort, in a deluded sense of being, ignoring the horrible incidences after the furore has died on Twitter and the issue is no longer trending.

I am not excluding myself from this. I am a 22-year-old educated human being and I sit and tut-tut at these hate crimes, retweet a couple of outraged tweets and then move on to a video of a cat dancing to Uptown Funk.

What have we become? Why are we sitting on our hands, waiting for another horrible hate crime to happen to us, or someone we love, to show us that this can’t go on?

Is it not about time we stop moving on from these hate crimes?

This tragedy has affected me directly. I am not gay, I was not in Orlando, nor have I had someone I loved taken away from me so brutally and mindlessly in my lifetime till now. But this hate crime has affected me directly as a human being. As someone who was living in a deluded fantasy that all is perfect in the world just because we have a new iPhone launched every other day. That I was living in a fantasy that human beings can’t be THIS depraved.

As I sit in my room oceans and miles away from Orlando, adding another open letter to the pile of probably more eloquent ones, I think of what I can do.

I know, realistically, I am not equipped with the means to launch a widespread campaign to counterattack the hate perpetuated by these monsters. What I, or rather we, can do is not let hate win.

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In this particular case, for instance, retaliating with hate against all Muslims or becoming hostile to the plight of refugees, just because the shooter happened to be a Muslim, seems like we’re going in circles. We have to break this terrible cycle of hate that has become an agenda exploited for power over the years.

Don’t be a part of this cycle. Think about what really matters. You don’t need to march with raised flags, or conduct candlelit vigils. You need to get educated and educate the person next to you. It can be your mother, it can be your baby sister. More often than not, hate occurs where there is ignorance. Enlighten them so that there is no space for hate. Don’t let those hungry for power exploit your ignorance. Educate yourself to what you’re actually being taught to hate.

There were many tweets reacting to the incident, almost all of them expressing their grief and utter heartbreak for the victims of the tragedy. But not all of them were in support. I was horrified to see the multitudes of tweets actually supporting the shooter in his mission to punish the sinners AKA ‘the perverted gays’. After the horror came pity. I felt sad that there are human beings existing alongside us who are so ill equipped with the mental capacity to comprehend something as basic as love.

No religion or culture condones hate. These cowardly monsters hide behind the facade of religion to ignite our ignorant minds with hate. So if you can’t help the victims directly, help in stopping the spread of this hate.

We can’t move on from this terrible tragedy without doing our part.

Don’t tolerate homophobic jokes in movies, don’t use ‘Gay’ as an insult, don’t snigger when your parents unknowingly say something derogatory about a trans person. This may not be the ultimate solution, but it is a step towards banishing the ignorance that gives birth to hate.

Do your part. Break this cycle. Only then can we hope to come any closer to stopping these mindless hate crimes.

(Header image source: http://yhoo.it/1UxYSgi)

 

 

11 M&B Men Rated on Exoticness and Likability

People who love Mills and Boon, like I do, will know what I’m saying when I say that you either really LOVE them or you DESPISE them. There is no middle ground.
I am one of those who LOVE them and I believe I must have spent most of my conscious time on the planet justifying and explaining why these books are a gift to humankind (or womankind *wink*) and everyone should read them.
It’s pretty obvious why girls should read it, but I strongly believe that men should read Mills and Boon novels too. It gives them an insight into what women really want (A multi zillionaire who offers to save or ruin her family if she does/doesn’t pretend to be his fiance/wife to secure a business deal) and a lot about love and relationships in general.
A major reason why Mills and Boons are such a hit is probably because the writers write characters which women can fall in love with. Basically they all fall under the same category: Extremely hot, arrogant, super rich and, more often than not, complete jerks, who eventually turn out to be petty great.
They would make a ridiculous proposition to the woman, often involving blackmail, and the woman would agree to the said ridiculous proposition and ultimately they’ll fall in love. Who am I kidding? If Hrithik Roshan ever propositioned me like that I would agree even before he finsihed his sentence. I am shallow like that.
But having said that, there are several authors who have attempted to deviate from the mould of a Mills and Boon man and give us something with depth and more character. So I randomly picked out 11 Mills and Boons from my collection, re read them again (for research purposes, ofcourse) and decided to rate them. Because why not?
Side note: Exoticness in M&B world counts if the guy is from a different nationality than the girl.
Here are 11 exotic M&B men and their likability ratings.
1) Andreas Xenides, His Mistress For a Million (by Trish Morey)
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O.K so probably the title of the book is a little suggestive, but no judgements.I love Mills and Boons but sometimes the titles and back of the book descriptions can be a little cringeworthy. Take this one as an example:
For one million dollars: mistress at his mercy!
Jobless, homeless and penniless: humble housekeeper Cleo Taylor seeks a suitable position of employment. All good offers accepted…
Billionaire tycoon Andreas Xenides seeks beautiful woman for business contract on the luxury island of Santorini,
Terms: mistress for a month.
Salary: one million dollars.
Training will be given…
I swear I haven’t changed a single word or text style in the above description. But they’re good, so you can look past it.
So Andreas is a Greek multi billionaire and is obviously arrogant and hot as hell. The guy is driven by a thirst for revenge for the man who duped his father off a lot of money and caused him to commit suicide and so Andreas buys AND closes out the hotel where the aforementioned bad guy works. He kicks him out and gets his revenge as now the man is pitiful and broke. But he finds at the hotel, Cleo, a housekeeper, who is slightly worse for wear and highly dismayed now that she’s lost her job. So our exteremely hot, multi billionaire guy offers her a job… in his pants. hahahahahaa!
No, for real.
He literally offers her a million dollars if she ‘pretends’ to be his mistress for a month.
So for the people who are not very familiar with this genre of literature, when a guy asks, nay demands, that you be his ‘pretend’ mistress for a specified duration of time, he basically means that you’re going to be sleeping together, despite whatever your contract stipulates. It’s just ineveitable, given your sizzling chemistry and attraction.
As an M&B guy, Andreas is suitably exotic and arrogant, but is fairly reasonable throughout. So that sort of earns him extra points.
Exoticness: 8/10
Likability: 8/10
2) Sheikh Malik of Jahfar, Marriage Behind the Facade (by Lynne Ray Harris)
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So the back of the book goes like:
Summoned to the desert sands…
Sydney Reed dreamed of being a princessin a faraway land, and couldn’t believe that smoulderingly sexy Sheikh Malik of Jahfar would marry plain old her- even out of convenience.
But the dream has ended and she’s back to reality with a thud!
Now Sidney needs his signature on the divorce- Malik, however, has other ideas.
Jahfran law requires that they spend forty days together as man and wife before Sydney can be free of him forever.
Out in the scorching desert Malik holds all the power- he’ll make sure their forty nights are more than worth it…
The guy is basically Arab royalty, so that kind of gets him really high on the ‘being exotic’. So Malik is this hot shot memebr of this royal family of a fictional arab kingdom called Jahfar, and he had married Sidney, our heroine, in Paris but due to some misunderstanding, Sidney thought that he thought that their marriage had been a huge mistake, and so she ran away from him and now wants a divorce. So far so Sweet Home Alabama (not really, but I just love the movie so bad!). Anyways, they both have to spend a month together in the scorching heat of the desert (a possible metaphor for their own scorching chemistry, eh?) and then they can be granted a divorce. BUT. Malik is sneaky. He had actually made up this bizzaro rule just so he can buy some more time to convince Sidney that they should not get divorced. That can be the sweetest or the sneakiest thing ever, but since it all worked out in the end, we’ll go with sweetest.
A negative strike in his chart comes from him being emotionally closed off, which is generally a pre requisite for any M&B guy, but Malik’s aloofness was partly the reason Sidney left him, so it counts. But his emotional distantness roots from his childood and he kind of starts working on it by the end. Plus marks to him for having survival skils (they survived a sandstorm while trapped in a Land Rover, in the desert).
Exoticness: 10/10
Likability: 9/10
3) Chase Whitaker, His for Revenge (by Caitlin Crews)
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Here’s what the back of the book reads:
The marriage game…
Walking down the aisle towards the striking but cold CEO Chase Whitaker was never meant to be Zara Elliot’s fate. But to safeguard the family business she’ll have to play along…
Chase is only interested in one thing- his own dark game of revenge against Zara’s father. the one thing he hasn’t counted on…? Zara’s charm and natural beauty unsettling his rock-hard defensces.
Their wedding night proves to be a game-changer, and they both realise they’re in over their heads.
Losing was never an option for Chase… but winning suddenly takes on a very different meaning!
Chase, for the former part of the book, behaves in the typical manner of any guy who is out for revenge and is all dark and brooding. But. Points for Zara here, because she is spunky, charming and manages to get through Chase’ wall of defences. After all that happens, Chase becomes quiet a likeable guy, and the way he dealt with Zara’s father and the fact that Zara did not blame him for whatever he had to do to beat her evil father, only adds to the liekability of the entire story and hence makes Chase one of the more likeable guys around.
Exoticness: 5/10
Likability: 9/10
4) Xenon Kanellis, The Greek’s Marriage Bargain (by Sharon Kendrick)
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The back of the book description:
Renewing their vows?
Xenon Kanellis is not a man who fails, and certainly not a man who gets divorced. Now, with the perfect opportunity to get hs wife back where she belongs- on his arm and in his bed- his immaculate record will be restored.
Lexi Kanellis needs  her estranged husband’s help… even if that means playing the good Greek wife for a few more weeks. The island sun is no match for the reignited heat between them, but no amount of passion can erase the memory of what tore them apart…
Now Xenon (is it just me, or does his name sound like a comic book planet?) has everything stacked against him from the start. It is clear that he is a typical Greek male, chauvnistic, aloof, arrogant and proud. BUT, what makes Krypton, sorry Xenon, different from the other similar M&B men is that he acknowledges these traits as flaws and throughout the book, tries to overcome them. For instance, he hired a woman as his driver and, in the end, adopted a kid (apparently a big deal for arrogant Greek men).
Adding to his likeability is the fact that he actually tries hard to make his marriage work and not just because of some stupid pride thing, but because he genuinely loved Lexi.
Exoticness: 8+ 1 (because of the name)= 9/10
Likability: 10/10
5) Lucien Steele, Rumours on the Red Carpet (by Carole Mortimer)
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As far as back of the book descriptions go, this isn’t so bad.
Learning at the hands of a billionaire
When the chance of a dream holiday lands in Thia Hammond’s lap it’s too much to resist. Suddenly this innocent waitress is propelled from her quiet English life into the glittering world of New York’s scandalous elite and the glare of paparazzi flashbulbs.
Catching the eye of internationally renowned business mogul Lucien Steele, Thia knows she’s about to learn a thing or teo about life in the fast lane! For once in her carefully ordered existence she will take not what is safe, but what she really wants.
This was one of my favourites amongst the eleven I read for this ‘research’. The fact that it was one of those M&Bs in which the guy had no agenda against the heroine or someone close to her, and had no ulterior motive to be with her, made Lucien stand out amongst the rest of his counterparts.
He did not demand or lay down any convoluted deal in front of Thia to compell her to date him, he asked her out and O.K so maybe he used some sneaky tactics to coerce her into moving in to his hotel, but that was purely because the hotel Thia had chosen was skeazy and shady as hell.
He respected her need to be independent throughout and there was no unnecessary drama anywhere.
Exoticness: 7/10 (for being part French)
Likability: 10/10
6) Zack Parsons, One Night in Paradise (by Maisey Yates)
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Back of the book description:
All her most exotic fantasies are about to bubble over into reality!
Clara Davis knows the moment yes slips from her lips that she’s in way over her head. Just how is she supposed to be her boss’s fiancée on his luxury honeymoon?
Zack Parsons’s Don’t date the staff rule has prevented him from ever seeing beyond Clara’s baker’s apron. But now he’s looking at her in a completely different, rather more tempting lght. Giving in to one night of wickedness should be enough to staisfy their new-found cravings…
Shouldn’t it?
Now Maisey Yates is one of my favourite authors, in this genre, and one of her books HAD to be included as all her characters are well written and, more often than not, very likeable too.
The best part about Zack Parsons was that he did not treat Clara as just an employee. She was his friend and they shared a comfortable comraderie throughout. He was funny and respected Clara’s opinions too. Also, he baked terrible cupcakes for her to apologize for being a jerk! ADORABLE.
Exoticness: 5/10
Likability: 9/10
7) Titus Alexander, Back in the Headlines (By Sharon Kendrick)
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Back of the book description:
What woman wouldn’t get all hot and bothered if Titus Alexander was staring at her like that?
As part of a number-one-selling girl band, Roxanne Carmichael was used to having the eyes of thousands on her. But now she’s scrubbing floors one condescending look from the Duke of Torchester fires her blood with fury… and attraction!
Titus doesn’t suffer fools, and does not drop his guard. But his new chambermaid is threatening his iron self- control with those legs and that wicked mouth! There’s only one way he can get her out of his system- and that’s to get her into his bed!
Spolier alert: He doesn’t get her out of his system.
Now Titus started out arrogant, jugemental and assumed the worst of Roxanne even before he had met her. But gradually he started realizing his own mistakes (in the assuming horrible things about her part) and (a rarity amongst M&B men) admitted his mistakes. The fact that Roxanne’s character is also a delight is just another plus.
The best part in this one was when Titus takes Roxanne out for a day in the village and buys her gloves, and just spends the day with her, despite his aversion to dating.
Exoticness: 7/10
Likability: 9/10
8) Gabriel Cabrera, To Sin with the Tycoon (By Cathy Williams)
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Back of the book description:
With the quirk of an eyebrow, Gabriel Cabrera can get anything he wants!
That is until he meets PA Alice Morgan and realises three things:
1) He’s jealous… a first.
2) He’s in pursuit… a first.
3) She’s immune to his charms… definitely a first!
So he’ll draw her to him- his every word an innuendo promising pleasure, his every touch sinfully seductivee- and sweet, virginal Alice will come to him willingly so Gabriel can claim his prize…
Gabriel is your average M&B man. Rich, gorgeous and arrogant as hell. He takes it personally when Alice doesn’t fall at his feet (or in his bed!) just because he wanted it. He constantly wonds her up and uses his ‘charms’ to seduce her, all the while making it clear that he is not interested in a permanent relationship. Finally, before sleeping together, Alice makes it clear that they would only have sex till the time they’re in Paris and will go back to being boss and PA once they return.
But Gabriel decides he wants more now and when she refuses, to punish her, he starts dating again, making her book restaurants and what not.
He then proceeds to follow her to her mother’s home and then strong arms his way in her house, charming her mother and utimately winning her over.
It all worked out in the end, because Alice also loved him, but it doesn’t excuse Gabriel’s behaviour though.
Exoticness: 6/10
Likability: 5/10
9) Alexander del Castillo, Honour- Bound Groom (by Yvonne Lindsay)
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Back of the book description:
Mr. August: Alexander del Castillo,
                       CEO and eldest son
His dillema: End his family’s curse
His only choice: Marry… or else
Alexander was betrothed from childhood- his future held a wife not of his own choosing. Thankfully bride-to-be Loren Dubois was more than suited for her place at his side- and in his bed. But the businessman never expected his beautiful bride to get under his skin… or into his heart.
I disliked Alexander del Castillo for more than one reason. He was selfish, manipulative and cold. He knew that Loren was in love with him, and used that fact to make her marry him and in order to save HIS company a PR disaster. Adding to his jerkness was the fact that he ahd thought that once Loren was good and pregnant, he would start another affair with one of his mistresses.
When Loren realised that Alex was basically an ass and would not love her back, she very graciously agreed to fulfill the demands of the contract (that she would have to deliver an heir) but only if it’s done through IVF. This was not accepted by him becasue apparently it questioned his manliness and being the selfish ass that he was, he refused her one and only demand.
Even his abrupt turn in the end (he fell in love with her) seemed hurried and was not at all redeeming.
Exoticness: 8/10
Likability: 3/10
10) Ryan Sheppard, His Christmas Acquisition (by Cathy Williams) 
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Here’s what the back of the book says:
There’s only one item left on entrepreneur Ryan Sheppard’s christmas list- something scandalous for his buttoned-up secretary…
It seems that disapproving Jamie Powell is the only woman that doesn’t fall at Ryan’s feet. Jamie is well aware of her boss’s heartbreaker reputation… fending off his discarded women is virtually part of her job description!
Ryan’s hoping a Christman trip to the Carribean will entice Jamie out of her pencil skirt and into the skimpiest of bikinis! And, with the boardroom transferred to the beach, surely there’s little harm in indulging in a little festive pleasure on the side…?
Ryan seems to be almost a carbon copy of Gabriel (To Sin With the Tycoon- see no 8), which given the fact that both are written by the same author, is quiet plausible.
Ryan is slightly less self involved than Gabriel, but once again the fact that a woman who does not think that he is the gift from God to women challenges him and he HAS to seduce her.
I can’t even think of anything different for Ryan. I guess the fact that he cared for his mother and sisters lend him a little likability.
Exoticness: 4/10
Likability: 6/10
11) Damon Doukakis, Doukakis’s Apprentice (By Sarah Morgan)
11
Back of the book description:
Wanted: willing apprentice to handle indecently arrogant (but incredibly sexy) tycoon
With her family business in crisis Polly Prince does her best to keep calm and carry on. But hard work alone can’t save her company from a takeover by the infamously ruthless Damon Doukakis… or her traitorous body from the lethal sensuality of her boss!
As his new apprentice, Polly accompanies Damon to Paris to negotiate the business deal of her life! Worse still, Polly must at all costs resist Damon in the most dangerously romantic city in the world…
FINALLY!
I LOVED this one. It has everything. A strong, opinionated, crazy, intelligent, emotional female lead, gorgeous, super rich, caring, arrogant, emotionally healthy man and PARIS.
(To be fair, even Gabriel- no 8- took Alice to Paris, but NO.)
So Damon Doukakis is angry, because his sister has eloped with Polly’s father and are now AWOL.
In order to fish them out, he takes over Polly’s company.
He is reasonable throughout, even though he had unfair assumptions about Polly before he found out that she was the brain behind every succesfull campaign of te company, and he wanted to date her, and not just sleep with her. Also, he made sure Polly got her dream of studying further.
The fact that the guy on the cover looks slightly like Hugh Jackman is just another strike in his favor.
Exoticness: 8/10
Likability: 10+2 (for Polly)= 12/10!!!

10 Motivational Quotes Made More Motivational by Shahrukh Khan

It’s no hidden fact that I have a mild crush on Shahrukh Khan, so to intensify the motivation of already motivational quotes, I imagined them being said by Shahrukh Khan.

Here’s a collection of motivational posters, made even more motivating with the presence of Shahrukh Khan, because why not?

You’re welcome, world.

Shahrukh 2

Shahrukh1

Shahrukh 3

Shahrukh 4

Shahrukh 5

Shahrukh 7

Shahrukh 8

Shahrukh 10

Shahrukh 6

Shahrukh 9

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6 Things I Found Out About the Lalit Modi Scandal Over Dinner

Do you have trouble understanding why your twitter feed is bursting with #LaMo comments and jokes, or why every night Ms. Barkha Dutt debates over the Lalit Modi issue while you try to enjoy chicken curry and dal?

Join the club.

Atlas this much is clear that the LaMo scandal is a big deal. But what is exactly happening?

So over the aforementioned chicken curry and dal, I grilled my father about the said LaMo brouhaha in the news.

Here’s what I took from it:

1) Who is Lalit Modi? 

My vague understanding of who he is came from the peripherals of IPL that were lodged in my subconscious (majority of IPL consciousness is occupied by a certain owner of a certain team from Kolkata- SHAHRUKH KHAN), but here’s what an extensive search of his name on Wikipedia gave:

Lalit Kumar Modi is the first commissioner of cricket’s Indian Premier League (IPL). After launching and running IPL for 3 years he was found guilty of committing acts of misconduct and indiscipline resulting in his removal and subsequent lifetime ban by the BCCI. He denies all wrongdoing and blames the current BCCI administration for creating sham blue ribbon committees to pass judgements on him.

Also he has now ran to hide in London, because why not. It’s a beautiful place, home to many beautiful historic buildings and it is believed that if you ride the tube enough, you will spot a Game of Thrones cast member for sure. BUT I’m getting carried away here, Lalit Modi is in reality an absconder (which basically means to leave hurriedly and secretly, typically to escape from custody or to avoid arrest) . Let’s see why:

2) Why has he ran away to London?

Aside from the aforementioned reasons to visit London, Lalit Modi has left India because he “..perceives threat to his life from “unwanted elements” and won’t return to India till the situation improves,” (direct quote from his advocate, Mehmood Abdi)

Modi, who was suspended as IPL chairman by the BCCI in April, is facing charges ranging from financial irregularities to rigging bids, proxy holdings and kickbacks in broadcast deals.

So he basically did a lot of shady stuff during his time as the IPL chief and now when he is under trial, he has ran away, or absconded, to the UK.

3) Involvement of Sushma Swaraj

Image source: http://bit.ly/1LtOTaW
Image source: http://bit.ly/1LtOTaW

External affairs minister, Sushma Swaraj, became a part of this whole controversy after acknowledging that she helped  Lalit Modi procure British travel documents on “humanitarian grounds”, basically to visit his wife who is undergoing treatment for cancer in Lisbon. BUT. There have been several pictures of Modi partying with celebs like Naomi Campbell and Paris Hilton at that time. It was also alleged that Modi had helped her nephew secure an admission in a law university in Sussex.

Now the opposition is demanding her head (not literally, I hope) for helping Modi even if it was on humanitarian grounds.

4) Involvement of Vasundhara Raje

Image source: http://bit.ly/1KgmoOK
Image source: http://bit.ly/1KgmoOK

A document surfaced recently with Rajasthan’s Chief Minister, Vasundhara Raje’s, signatures, backing up Modi’s stay in the UK, despite the fact that he was on trial in the country. Her son, Dushyant Singh, is also under the scanner, as he had received a heavy investment from Modi for his company’s shares. Vasundhara Raje has admitted to the fact that she had signed those papers.

5) Involvement of Arun Jaitley

Image source: http://bit.ly/1QSKsev
Image source: http://bit.ly/1QSKse

Congress has accused Jaitley of doing a “clear-cut cover-up” on the entire issue and of influencing the Enforcement Directorate (ED) probe in Dushyant Singh and Modi’s case. The finance minister has been defending Vasundhara Raje, saying that she might have helped him as they were friends. Lately he has evaded any queries about Lalit Modi or anybody’s involvement in the case.

6) Where is NaMo?

Image source: http://bit.ly/1GwbcHf
Image source: http://bit.ly/1GwbcHf

Lalit Modi’s surname-sake has been curiously absent from any discussions or debates involving him. It is needed that e take some stand after the facts are ascertained. He has chosen silence, so far on the case, even though one of his cabinet minister (Sushma Swaraj) is heavily embroiled in the case. Also, he has not done anything about Vasundhara Raje’s involvement too, BUT since Vasundhara Raje is a Chief Minister, there’s not much the prime minister can do about it, as the chief ministers are independently elected and are accountable to the electorate and law separately.

It is imperative, though, that the PM should make his views clear on the subject, which he has to done till now, perhaps because commenting on thecae before all the facts were ascertained would have been a political folly.

This is what I have made out of the whole media furor over the case. All the above information has come from reliable sources (as reliable as the internet can be).

Please comment below if I have stated anything wrong or if I have missed out on an important fact.

(By Salva Mubarak)